Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
