you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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