New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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