that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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