What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm too high and old for this...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
