I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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