I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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