I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
