Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
