i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
