trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
