remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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