Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
