I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
