at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize