i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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