The best revenge is premature balding
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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