so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
