somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
