I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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