Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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