Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
