no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
