There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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