Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
