I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
