Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There r osticjed everywhere
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
