Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
my being single is dangerous.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
