that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
