Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
