Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
