i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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