I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
