He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
