so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
