once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
