Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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