I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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