Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
