Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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