Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
