Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
