She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
