i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
