called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
