Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
