quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i love accidental penises.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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