my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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