Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
