maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
