Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I need to align my fucking chakras
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
