I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
