drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he thought i was a dude.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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