I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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