This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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